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如何拿捏G类小作文中的投诉信?
Nick最近受了刺激,因为在批改G类小作文的时候感触到了一个事实,那就是写作风格在很大程度上影响着分数以及读者的感受。就以一道投诉信里为例,我们来看几句我摘抄出来的话:
“I am not very pleased about your product.”
“I have had enough about theproblems of your product”
“Your product, to be frank, shouldbe banned in the market due to its problem”
有没有一种被offended的感受呢?其实里面有些词语的使用已经非常危险了,这里指的危险是说考官可能会对于你语言情绪的把控出现怀疑。比如第二句中的”I have had enough about”,这只有在真的要吵架之前才会说。更例如第三句的”your product should be banned”这样诅咒型的语言更是可怕。所以今天和大家聊聊如何控制投诉信的语言。
第一,陈述写作目的,不是宣泄感情
“I am writing this letter to informyou that your product has been causing some inconvenience in my recently life.”
这一句可被当作非常好的陈述目的型的句子,表明了作者对于这件商品有不满但并没强调自己的感受。这不是说大家在写作中不可以表示自己对于糟糕产品的态度,而是在雅思的写作中,考官更希望看到的是对于事情的描述,陈述而不是发泄。
第二,将你所遇到的问题有逻辑的展示
我们来看这样一句:I bought a watch from your shop the other day. Iremember that your staff told me it can be fixed for free. That was a cold day,I went to your shop again. Your staff said they could not do it when I saidthis watch was not working. I was disappointed and angry.
不用翻译大家也看出来这是逻辑极其混乱的一篇文章,我就想问问那个”that was acold day”到底指的是哪天?另外那个 do it 指的到底是什么?是不给修理还是可以修但是要收费?在问询作者的意图之后,Nick将其改成:
Your staff informed me that thiswatch can be fixed without a charge at the day I purchased it. However, theyrefused to offer a free repair service when I personally returned thisnon-working watch to the shop on a cold day.
总结:陈述好写作目的,不添油加醋;把所要投诉的问题用逻辑串联,分别展示发现问题的过程及结果。相信大家可以完成一篇很好的投诉信!
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